I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Church boner. Awkwardddd
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
