How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
