This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
