just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
