oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
