why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
