I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
