We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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