i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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