finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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