Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
