theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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