I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
