similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
