I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Everything about him screamed your future.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
