well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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