I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
