grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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