so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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