Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
