flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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