just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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