We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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