Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
