My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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