When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
