That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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