How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
