What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
