i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
