Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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