I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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