yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize