what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
