I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
