dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
