I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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