ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
