I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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