CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
