used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
