It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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