He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
