i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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