Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
