so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
false alarm. still invincible.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
