My Higher Power is John Stamos
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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