I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
