You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize