Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
