He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize