Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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