My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
