so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
