Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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