i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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