I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
