Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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