Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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