GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
