your thong is hanging out like whoa
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
