I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize