I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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