She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
