Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
