...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize