But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
