I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize