Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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