I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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