I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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