I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize