She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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