That's intense
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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