just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize