Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
