I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
