There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize