Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
