I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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