dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
