No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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